Today I feel I can really appreciate that credit card commercial (American Express?) where Ellen DeGeneres wants to go to Beyonce's (do I need 2 apostrophes there to emphasize the 'e' in Beyonce' AND demonstrate possession? No clue. Anyway...) concert but can't find her "people" to talk to Beyonce's "people" to get the tickets or something.
We've been in Waco for one full whirlwind of a week. I haven't had much time to really put on the brakes. I've been working all week. Micah got into a private school which started Tuesday and we were not prepared at all for such a quick transition (surprise!). We've still had a ton of unpacking to do and errands to run. Thankfully, my wonderful mom stayed with us to help around the house and help take care of the little ones on Thursday and Friday b/c Jason has been gone.
But today my mom left, Jason is still gone (but he'll be home soon!), the kids are napping and the house is silent (which is NOT very golden right now). I'm left with an unexpected feeling of sadness mixed with a touch of panic. The only feeling I can compare it to is the feeling that you get when you take your newborn baby home from the hospital and no one else is around to help you take care of it. I can remember being a new mom and wrestling with a weird feeling commonly known as "baby blues" when your hormones are still adjusting and you cry over mundane things like sitting down for dinner or changing the TV channel. To compound the sad feeling, there's the panicky feeling that you're all alone with a tiny creature that you have no experience dealing with. And there's no longer anyone else around to help you deal with it. It's lonely and unsettling when you don't have "people."
And today, with this being the 1st time I've had to be completely alone, I'm missing my "people." As much as we were dissatisfied with our old town, we still had "people." Friends, family, friends who were like family... "people." Community. It was comfortable. Here, we have no people. And it's quiet and lonely.
I think we'll find some "people" here eventually. I know it's only been 1 week, as opposed to 5 (LONG) years. But for today I long for my "people."