Wednesday, April 29, 2009

World Wide Web Wednesday 04.29.09...that isn't

While I would LOVE to amaze and astound all 5 of you with my idea of what constitutes The Best of the Internets This Week, the only places I've visited have been limited to and in preparation for our trip to Gulf Shores this summer.

And I've spent about 62 of the last 48 hours researching condos to rent. The math doesn't add up, but that's the price you pay for research. Or something like that.

Instead of cool links, I'll share with you a little tidbit of self-discovery that's been brought to light by All The Research. Because if the countless hours I've spent mindlessly ascertaining the differences between Condos 1 through 2000 can't promote a little soul-searching and introspection, what can?

The big confession? Apparently I'm a commitment-phobe.

Take, for instance, my search for the perfect condo for super cheap. And I only have to sort through hundreds of dozens of units that all start to look the same after awhile, comparing location, amenities, and number/sizes of beds. But I'm so afraid I'll choose the bedbug infested, mildew ridden one that I can't stop researching and digging to make sure I'm getting the best deal out there.

Take, for instance, this rugged specimen of a table:

I'm no photographer, but my camera settings managed to catch the layer of dust on the rungs underneath beautifully. Petrified dust aside (can dust petrify?), I have lofty plans to paint it and mod podge some decorative paper to the top so it will match Piper's room decor.

But when I went into the local craft store for decorative paper, my head nearly exploded from all the choices! The paper choices were approximately equal to the number of condos at Gulf Shores. Which is to say, a million.

Besides picking paper, I have to paint the thing. Do I paint it cream to match the paper? Do I paint in lavender and chance it blending in with the wall? Do I paint it black even though the paperIchosedoesn'thaveanyblackbutit

The stress is palpable.

And it's entirely possible that I may be too high strung.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

AI: Top 5

In the words of Paula Abdul, I'm going to keep this short.

And I'm going to repeat adjectives for emphasis. Stellar adjectives that are stellarly stellar stellar stellar.

Tonight's theme? Rat Pack.

Bless Kris's heart. He gently reminds us that all the members of the Rat Pack have passed away.

So AI gave us the next best thing... Jamie Foxx??

In a brief brainstorming session about the length of time that it takes for us to fast forward through the commercials, Jason and I came up with roughly 148 people who might have made better "Rat Pack" style mentors than Jamie Foxx. Roughly. But Jamie did play Sammy Davis Jr. on In Living Color. Who else can claim that? So maybe he is the most qualified after all.

I will admit that it seems like he was a fine mentor, using all his classically trained skills.

Now to the performances.

Kris: First of all, I LOVE THIS SONG! OK, it's a bit awkward how he's carrying that mic around weirdly like he's rocking it out when he's really crooning. But overall, I loved the crooning. Beautiful performance!

And I think Paula got her lips injected this week. Or her face is channeling Goldie Hawn.

Allison: I thought the beginning was a little weak as she tried to tone down some of her power, but it definitely picked up in the middle. I don't think she really "got" the song though. That's what's missing with Al. Do you think she minds if I call her Al? She's a great singer, but she can't really channel the emotion that comes through experience. The judges loved it, though.

Matt: He's doing something weird with his mouth and his words ala Jessica Simpson style. Other than that, and besides the fact that I like Matt better with an instrument (but I like any musician better with an instrument. It makes them more musical), I thought he did a nice job.

Danny: I can totally see him winning. 'Nuff said. And if he doesn't win, he'll certainly get a recording contract that will win him a Dove award or 20.

Adam: Well, I think AI might need a new mic after tonight. Doesn't Adam know we're having a swing flu outbreak and he needs to keep his mouth particles to himself? And I thought he was really bringing the theatrics tonight. Really?!?! Adam?!?! Theatrical?!?!? Huh.

I think Matt or Allison is going home. So if you'll excuse me, I've got to go vote for Kris (because I love him) and Matt (because I want him to stick around).

Friday, April 24, 2009

Truth can be funnier than fiction

Sometimes blogs write themselves. Sometimes I don't even have to add any embellishment (not that I would do that) for a story to be just plain funny. Sort of like what happened to me today.

I received a text today from an unknown number. The conversation went something exactly like this:

Random Stranger: Susan?

Me: Nope

Random Stranger: Crap...sorry.

Me: No problem.

Random Stranger
: It is if I don't find Susan!

For once I almost typed "LOL" and actually MEANT it.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Bizarre Foods

Jason LOVES to watch Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern on the Travel Channel. Unfortunately, even listening to Mr. Zimmern simply describe the foods he's eating makes me want to lose my lunch.

No offense, Mr. Zimmern. I'm sure you're a lovely person. You certainly have taste buds of steel. But I'm not sure if I admire you or if I am disgusted by you.

And I may be onto a new weight loss plan! Just watch Bizarre Foods and never have an appetite to eat again! Patent pending.

Even though Jason could be considered a foodie, I have a more...ahem...discriminating palate.

I blame my mom (love you, mom!). The only veggies we had to eat growing up were potatoes, green beans, peas, or corn. And I'm pretty sure 3 out of the 4 don't technically qualify as vegetables.

I'm sure my mom would defend her choices by insisting that my sister and I refused to try new things even if she fixed it, thus creating a vicious cycle of pickiness, but this blog isn't about her defense (still love you mom!).

So back to me, food stuffs like artichokes, capers, spinach never crossed the threshold of my lips until I went to college and my roommates cooked with all of it. They were FAYN-CEE roomies.

Considering my food discrimination tendencies, it shouldn't have surprised me when Micah infomed Jason that he doesn't like sandwiches.

The most innocuous food ever invented in all mankind.

His reasoning was that he likes bread, and he likes meat, but he doesn't like meat and bread together.

And thus we submitted further DNA to determine exactly TO WHOM these children belong.

I was surprised, however, when he came home from a field trip to our local wetlands with the following information.

"Mommy, can we eat dinner at the wetlands?"

My initial thought was that putting a concession stand in a watery habitat seemed a little counterintuitive. You know, with all the nature and earthiness of it all. Carbonated HFCS and bags of processed chemicals flavored like fried potatoes was a bit dichotomous in my estimation. When I asked Micah what was on the menu, he replied, "Cattails."

"As in the plant?"

"Yeah. The guy told us that you can eat cattails, but only some of them. Some are poisonous. He even let us taste them! Can we go back to the wetlands and eat more cattails?"

"Sweetie, I wouldn't know the difference between the good ones and the poisonous ones," trying to reason with him. AS IF WE WOULD EAT THEM EVEN IF I DID KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

What I wanted to say was that I was (am) completely unable to come up with any reason why I would EVER eat a cattail. Unless I needed a brain transplant and Andrew Zimmern was the only available donor.

The conversation quickly turned into the kind of downward spiral that conversations with 6 year olds often do when said child thinks he is offering perfectly reasonable explanations for why one's family should go vegetarian in a glorified man-made swamp. And ended with, "No, because I said so." In my most intelligent-sounding adult tone.

The next morning, before the boys ate breakfast, I had to clean my breakfast counter. Because I'm so efficient like that. I used my homemade solution of vinegar scented with peppermint oil, and when Micah came in he said, "It smells like mint in here."

We sometimes call him Captain Obvious.

Then he continued, "You know, we ate mint at the wetlands."

WHAT?!?! Let me get this straight, son: You're acceptable selection of foods is pretty limited to PB&J, macaroni and cheese, and assorted fruits. But when you go on a school field trip, you'll eat any manner of strange plant offered to you by a strange man.

Does that about sum it up?

It's quite possible that Jason and I need to take a trip out to the wetlands ourselves, not only to shake this miracle worker's hand, but also to offer him a position cooking in our kitchen.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

World Wide Web Wednesday 04.22.09

Happy Earth Day, everyone! In honor of Earth Day, I wish my links had something to do with Earth. But not all wishes can come true. I've come to grips with that. Won't you?

My first link today is this great article about why we all love Susan Boyle. If you don't know who Susan Boyle is, may I ask why you hate humanity so much? (Thanks for the link Craig.)

Totally worth your 200 seconds:
100 Best Movie Lines in 200 Seconds
(Thanks, KPG!)

And finally, the reason why I purchased whole wheat flour AND bread flour for the first time last night... I'm totally making these rolls tonight! I was going to make them last night, but the excitement of the flour purchase left me with nothing but a desire to sit on the couch and watch AI. My motivation is a fragile flower.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

AI Recap: Top 7 AGAIN

Once I recovered from my AI deja-vu, with it being Top 7 AGAIN, I realized they cut out the cheesy interview/video intros. Assumedly (I just made that word up) for the sake of time. Which tells me there is a Lord and he does care about my DVR.

So here's my measly $0.02 on tonight's performances.

Lil: My first thought was, "Lead me not into cruise ship performances and deliver me from All The Whitney Houston Karaoke." I know this song was done prior to Whitney, but also by a more powerful singer than Lil. I just know the Whitney version best. It seems like this song has been done once or 200 times. But maybe it's just that someone always insists on undersinging this type of song every season. And Lil made the same AI choice of death. On her outfit, I was required to wear a similar head to toe spandex outfit at dance team practice circa the mid-90s.

Kris: Because I'm in the habit of either fast-forwarding through the Ryan Seacrest portions or just straight up ignoring him, I didn't recognize the song at first. But once Kris got to the chorus, I realized how much I LOVED the arrangement and LOVE his voice. He totally made it his own with sort of a Santana vibe, even though I thought the song choice was weird.


I'm voting for Kris.

Danny: He really changed things up this week. This time around, he STARTED with the belting. Then brings it down to just singing powerfully. Rather than the other way around. Interesting switch Danny. But don't get me wrong, I love his voice and think he's a great singer. I thought he looked a little like Robert Downey Jr. with the stubble this evening. I also saw a sign that said GO GO Gokey, which totally reminded me that I thought he looked like Inspector Gadget a few weeks ago. Long story short, I liked it.

Allison: She must have been on the brink of heat stroke in those leather leggings. Jason thought she was dressed as a disco ball, which fit right in with the theme AND cracked me up. I didn't love the arrangement, but it was original. My overall impression was that I didn't like the performance, but I couldn't quite put my finger on why. I would kill as an AI judge, what with all my technical musical knowledge.

Speaking of musical knowlegde: Kara, SHUT.UP with your musical trivia. We get it. You're trying to casually remind everyone who hates you that you DO have judging credibility because you're such an industry icon. We still don't care who won a grammy for what song, or when it was all recorded or whatever. And are you contractually-bound to mention the original recording artist after every performance? PLEASE.STOP.TALKING. I said please. PLEASE.

Adam: He still has a great voice, but I'm over the screaming. Paula stood up for his performance which means...absolutely nothing. Because she stands up for everyone. There was nothing that I'll remember about this performance except that Paula used the word visceral.

Matt: I don't think this song showed off his vocal range very well, but it did get better as he went on. I love Matt, but I think he's in some serious danger. Kris, Danny, and Adam all had more original performances. Matt's only hope is that people agree Anoop and Lil were worse. The judges loved his performance, though, so what do I know? Oh, except Simon. So maybe I know more than I thought.

Anoop: OK, Anoop just can't entertain like the other guys can. I think he has reached the limit of his AI talent. His voice is good, but I thought his vocals were pitchy. He missed the first note and the last note which is not a good standard. And Anoop, 1991 called. They want their sneakers back. Simon said it was mediocre at best. I agree.

In a perfect world, I'd like to see Anoop and Lil go home.

Kris was hands down my favorite.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

An Open Letter to the Young Man Who Placed His Workout Mat Too Close to Mine

Dear Young Man,

I realize that my referring to you as "young man," and the fact that I am approximating your age to be around 12 based on your baby face, probably means that I am aging much faster than I'd like to admit. Because your well-built biceps and your lack of parental guardian tell me that you're actually well past puberty, but not old enough to know how to keep from ticking off a room full of unfit women.

When you enter a crowded exercise class filled with women old enough to have given birth to you (myself excluded), you must know that the fact that you are the lone male in the class does not give you the right to invade someone else's workout space.

Placing your mat too close to someone else's is the exercise equivalent of being a close talker. There are invisible boundaries, man! And women who are already placing all their mental and emotional energy into NOT DYING from the muscle crampage and thus embarrassing themselves in public have considerably less tolerance for boundary infractions. Generally speaking.

I'll admit, at first I was inspired by your invasive presence. I was not going to let a punk kid like you show me up. Even though I've been pregnant 3 times and probably have a huge black hole of diastasis in my abs, I've been doing Pilates twice a week for the last 6 weeks and this was only your second class. I was determined to prove I was the stronger of the two of us.

But after about 26 seconds of inspiration, I was so over you. I was ready to admit defeat in the competition taking place in my head. You won abs, young man. But I was pretty pleased that I SCHOOLED you in thighs, glutes, AND flexibility. Plus my small weighted ball was a full pound heavier than yours. Take THAT, dude!

Not to mention my utter delight over the fact that you appeared to be suffering just as much as rest of us.

But even the satisfaction I gained from beating you in some execrcises did not supercede my total irritation when our arms kept hitting awkwardly as we did that weird arm circle exercise. Or when you refused to do the leg circles in the same direction as me and thus we kept running into one another.

And when a woman is exerting the kind of mental, physical, and emotional effort required to hold it together in that class, the trip to total annoyance is a short one.

There are unwritten rules of group exercise classes, lad. But maybe you should try Googling them to see if the internets contains a written record of them somewhere so that you are less likely to overstep your invisible bounds in the future.

Most importantly, when you come to a group exercise class LATE, you should be prepared to choose a less desirable spot rather than turning my piece of prime real estate into a proverbial wasteland where neither of us gets the full benefit of the workout.

I appreciate your consideration of this matter.


Territorial Workout Mom

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Daring to Dance in the Path of Greatness: My AI Recap- Top 7

I have a love/hate relationship with my DVR right now. Last week, it was not smart enough to know that AI was running over and cut off the supposed Best Performance of the Season. But that's what YouTube is for, right? So I can't really stay mad. Especially when last night the DVR mercifully cut off before Lil was finished mouthing back to Simon. Which is never a good thing for a contestant to do. And may mean her demise tonight. But I'm getting ahead of myself...So anyway, on with my (sporadic) recap!

This week Quentin Tarantino was the guest judge.

Which has what to do with music exactly?

At first I thought it was going to be the music of his films, which was going to be pretty interesting to hear the contestants throw down some Isaac Hayes or Nancy Sinatra. Or the more obscure's. But instead it was just music of (generic) films.

Allison: I thought the beginning of the song's arrangement was too bluesy. And the shortened vesion of the words was really awkward. Neither of which has anything to do with Allison's singing.

I hate to sound too much like Randy, but I thought her performance was pitchy and I wasn't feelin' it. I did like how she coordinated with her hair with her outfit again, though. Simon surprised me by disagreeing with me and liking it. For 16 she's good, but I don't think she's Kelly Clarkson good.

Shot of the audience- was that Katie Couric? Hi Katie! Or Hi Katie-Look-Alike! And who was the strangely dressed male they keep cutting to? Jason thought it was Gene Simmons, but I wouldn't recognize Gene unless he was dressed in black with white face paint. Or someone introduced him to me and said, "This is Gene Simmons."

And was Stalker Shannon from the Bachelor there too? I would recognize that unnaturally white overbite anywhere.

It must have been crazy celebrity night at AI (with the exception of Katie. I love you Katie! Or maybe she is crazy for having left the Today Show. Man, that show went downhill, didn't it? Matt should jump ship while he still can be considered a respectable journalist. Or is it already too late for him? Thoughts that keep me awake at night...).

Back to AI.

Anoop: I totally needed to vote for him. But I have yet to fix my finger to dial and vote for anyone. I'm not sure that I really care that much this season. Besides, would my 10-15 votes really keep him in the running, anyway? I don't think my dialing power has a snowball's chance against a 13 yr. old's text votes. Anyway, I liked his performance. He looked to be in a bit of pain at the end, and I didn't like him shaking his finger at me (I do it FOR YOU!) It felt too reprimanding. But it was good overall.

Ryan then informs us that the judges are working in teams so that the show doesn't run over. My question is why can't the producers just tell them to SHUT IT? Is no one in charge over there?

Raise your hand if you saw this problem coming with now having 4 people talking after each song. {My own hand waving wildly}

And there's no way, with 2 women competing for "Longest AI Soliloquy" that either of them is going to edit their comments for brevity. But I really only want to hear Simon. Why can't everyone else just STOP TALKING ALREADY?

Adam: I've tried to like Adam. I've wanted to like Adam, guy-liner, nail polish, foundation, and all. And I really think Adam can sing. But I've finally decided I do not care for his voice in this arena. I would totally buy tickets to see him in a broadway show. But I don't think I could stand to listen to the tone of his voice repeatedly on a CD. Unless I lost a bet and that was to be my punishment. So I think he sang fine, but I'm jumping ship from the Adam-boat this evening.

When Adam finished gyrating, Paula began quoting The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People or The Secret or maybe just her fortune cookie from her dinner last night because she said that Adam (and I QUOTE!) "Dares to dance in the path of greatness," AND "Fortune rewards the brave." Maybe her dress's choker collar was a tad too tight and kept cutting off the oxygen to her brain. Whatev, Paula.

Simon says it's EXACTLY like watching the Rocky Horror Picture Show. And it was EXACTLY like that. To be positive, it was better than the Ring of Fire debacle which may go down as Worst American Idol Performance Of All Time. And that's sayin' somethin'.

Matt: OK, he was totally Jason Mraz'ing with the hat. But I love Matt. And I wished that the audience would quit clapping at an annoyingly slow rhythm to a song that doesn't lend itself naturally to clapping.

As strange as it seemed to have Quentin Tarantino as the guest, he seemed to be giving them good performance advice. At least it was better than "That was real nice." or "Are you wearing nail polish, boy?" (which isn't advice at all, actually).

And SHUT. UP. KARA. She's totally the reason my DVR cut off last week and I'll forever blame her. Why does AI even need 4 judges? If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Except for Paula, who is broke, but won't be entertaining if she gets fixed.

Danny: I do like his voice, but the Singing That Regularly Escalates to Belting is a little tired. Overall, though, he did a good job.

Kris: You know what I really got out of his performance last night? That I had completely forgotten about that song and how good it is. And how I want to see the movie Once, which I heard was really good, but I'd also forgotten about.

That said, I do think Kris is complete sleeper contestant. He's the one that no one could remember at first, but is totally sneaking up on everyone else and is going to cream them all. He's definitely one of my picks for Top 3. He's a solid singer/performer. But still he's somehow under the radar. Not outlandish enough to be the one everyone is talking about, but not bad enough to get kicked off either. And he doesn't have a story that makes people want to cry. Which you really need on AI.

Lil: The song kind of makes me want to gag. And that's all I have to say about that. Except for this next part where I say Lil is just not living up to the hype surrounding her. She is not a powerhouse like Jennifer Hudson or Mandisa or Melinda Doolittle. This is hopefully the end of the road for her.

After her song, Paula paraphrased the lyrics into something that had nothing to do with Lil. Simon was the voice of sanity. Lil's not that good. And that was when my DVR made up for its sins of last week and cut Lil off mid-backtalk.

So there you have it. My picks for bottom 3? Anoop (again. Poor Anoop), Lil, and probably someone that everyone loves like Danny or Matt. My fortune cookie tells me this is the week Fox decides to shake up the ratings and puts a favorite in the Bottom Three so the judges can use their Dramatic Save.

Not that I have any strong feelings about anyone at this point, but I'm sucked in this far, I might as well see this deal through to the end.

And I'll leave you with this little gem: A Guide to the AI Judges' Comments. It's spot on.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Pushing Pause for Holy Week

While I'd really love to share with everyone how I think I've crippled myself for life by working out on Saturday morning, or about the offer we FINALLY got on the home that we have not inhabited for the last 7 1/2 months, I've decided instead to take a short bloggy break this week.

Since it's Holy Week, I'm planning to devote more time to reflection on Jesus, his life, the sacrifice he paid for our sins, and his glorious resurrection.

I got a head start on this yesterday, Palm Sunday, when 2 of my little angels, along with 116 other small children were given palm branches and were told, "Commence palm branch fight."

So maybe there was no Ultimate Palm Branch Fighting Championship tourney in the gospels. But the little ones did portray the excitement of Jesus' triumphal entry into Jerusalem.

Because what says joy to rowdy little boys more than whipping palm branches?

I wonder what role they'll get to play next Sunday when it's revealed that the same one's who shouted "Hosanna!" are the same ones who shouted, "Crucify him!" a few days later... Should be interesting...

Anyway, in our family devotion times, we're going to be focusing on Jesus' actions during the days prior to his death and resurrection. I'm truly looking forward to studying it anew with Jason and our little angels.

And I might even partake in shopping for some awesome Good Friday deals. Because everyone knows that every good and perfect gift is from above, AMEN? Sales are a BLESSING, y'all.

Goodbye forever, until next week!

Saturday, April 4, 2009

I'm the most humble person I know

So for some lame reason that I can't even make up right now, I've been putting off the fact that I've recently received a couple more bloggy awards. When I started this blog, I never really thought I'd have too many (or any) faithful readers, and I am truly humbled when someone likes my blog enough to send an award my way.

The first one came from my IRL friend Sheryl and my bloggy friend Xazmin.


It's the LOVE YA award: The details of blogs chosen for this award: "These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated.

I would like to pass this along to:
Texan Mama

The other one is from my bloggy friend Holly

I'm passing this along to my friend Sheryl. I've just discovered her blog and it IS so refreshing!!

Thanks again, ladies!

Friday, April 3, 2009

In which I ramble on and don't say anything

Also known as pretty much what I do in all my blog posts.

My posting has been so sporadic lately due to major constraints on my time. And the fact that I can't think of anything worth saying. As evidenced by this post in particular.

J and I spent Monday and Tuesday at a planning retreat with friends we see once or twice (three times, if we're lucky!) a year. We enjoyed catching up with everyone as well as making plans for the summer leadership camp we for which we volunteer.

Once we got home, I realized that our local biannual children's consignment sale had snuck up on me once again. I hauled out the buckets of old spring and summer clothes and rifled through them a couple of weeks ago, but that's about as far as I got. So I ended up spending a large portion of Tuesday and Wednesday evening wearing off the fingerprints on my right thumb and index finger from repeated opening and closing of safety pins as I pinned outfits together and attached price tags.

I can now totally commit crimes that involve only the use of the pincher grasp on my right hand and never get caught.

I spent part of this evening at the-store-that-must-not-be-named (heretofore known as "The Store"), because it's such a blast to hang with three young children, two of whom have grown too large to be contained in the large part of the cart together, but still can't be trusted to walk beside the basket, in a discount store full of a million colorful and tempting items within arm's reach of said small children.

If I wanted to have any more fun, and that's a HUGE "if," I might do something like take all three of them to a hand=blown glass gallery. I'm sure nothing would break and my nerves would completely remain in tact. Just like when I go to The Store.

This weekend looks like it has a body shaping class in store for me first thing Saturday morning. Then, it's yard work and painting. That's assuming I still have mobility after the class.

We're painting Missy's room, which is currently sort of a radioactive turquoise. I'm sure it was a lovely shade to complement someone's nursery decor, but I personally prefer to avoid colors that remind me of a nuclear reaction. And we'll be christening a paint sprayer in the process to "save time." I'm pretty sure a blog post is going to come out of that somewhere, so stay tuned!

Thursday, April 2, 2009

World Wide Web Wednesday 04.02.09

I recently signed up for Twitter. Although I'm not entirely sure of its purpose nor have I fully plunged the depths Twitter's functionality, I have dipped a toe in the Twitter water. And that's somethin', right? But Twitter is why I thought this chart was so amusing! And after re-reading this paragraph, I think I need a lesson in pronoun usage.

And now that my mad technology skillz are in the 21st century, hopefully my hair style will be, too, when I get cut and colored today. Go me! I'll be so current.

Here's a recipe I might try sometime soon that requires none of my staple cooking ingredients (cream of something soup, rice/pasta, cubed chicken breast) AND it has more than my requisite 3 steps (pour into pan, stir, bake). But it sounds yummy, and I'm all for living dangerously.

Remember Stellan? He's doing better, but please keep praying!

And, finally, if you're a fan of the musical stylings of Watermark, head over to Christy Nockels' website and download her new single FOR FREE! If I could have any singing voice in the world, it would be hers. Random, but true.

Happy Wednesday!

edited: OR Happy THURSDAY, since apparently the joke's on me. Let's pretend I posted this yesterday, on the REAL Wednesday, shall we? And never speak of it again.