The best salad you will ever eat in your life. And I'm not even kidding.

I'm not what you'd call a "salad lover." But I'm not a "salad hater"
either. I'm just salad-ambivalent.

To me, salad is what you eat at a restaurant, as opposed to gnawing
off your own arm due to hunger, while waiting for the real food. It's
the costly adult equivalent of the free crackers you request for your
screaming child.

By my definition, salad isn't even particularly healthy- it's lettuce,
cheese, carrots and croutons topped with a fatty salad dressing.
Because if anything moves me from ambivalence to hate, it's fat-free
ranch, which I'm fully convinced is from the devil.

Adam and Eve did not have fat-free ranch before the fall. Of this I'm
certain.

Given my non-feelings toward salad, I was pleasantly surprised
recently when J and I had dinner with friends and ate this "Cornucopia
Salad."

I have no idea why it's called "Cornucopia" because there's no corn in
it. But if cornucopia means "a million fantastic flavors combined in
such a surprising and delightful way that makes salad my most
enthusiastic, yet mundane, obsession ever," then I suppose the name is
appropriate.

Cornucopia Salad

1 large head of leafy green lettuce, chopped
1/2 c. almonds (sliced or slivered)
3 T. sugar
1 granny smith apple, chopped
1 avocado, chopped (but I like it with 2)
1 can mandarin oranges, drained
1/2 c. dried cranberries
3 green onions, chopped
Bleu cheese crumbles (however much you like. Just sprinkle some in
there. Or use feta if you're wanting gluten-free)
1/4 c. bacon crumbles (we use pre-cooked bacon that you just heat in
the microwave, but you could use bacon bits. If you use bacon bits,
then please, for the LOVE, use real bacon pieces. Not those tooth-
breakingly hard imitation bits. Thank you.)

Put almonds and sugar into a small skillet over medium heat. Heat
until sugar melts and almonds are golden brown. Pour sugared almonds
onto foil to cool while you prepare the rest of the salad.

Dressing:
1/2 c. oil
1/2 c. white wine or apple cider vinegar
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. pepper
1 T. fresh chopped parsley
2 T. sugar

Mix all salad ingredients (including the almonds) with the dressing.
You'll need an extra large bowl. And an extra large plate and extra
large fork to eat it!

Don't judge the ingredient combinations until you've tried it. And if
you think you won't like "fruity" salad, don't be a hater! Give it a
chance.

You'll be moved.

P.S. I'm typing this on my phone to email to my blog through the
wonder of technology. That means 2 things. One, the recipe is coming
from memory, which you would know speaks VOLUMES about my love for
this salad since I've got the memory span of a goldfish. But my
measurements may be a bit off. I dont think they are, but it's not
impossible.

And two, I'm sorry for the wonky post format. Sometimes the wonder of
technology means, "Hm. I wonder how that happened. Because it didn't
look that weird when I sent it." Anyway, my apologies. I'll fix it
when I'm not typing entirely with 2 thumbs on a keyboard slightly
larger than a postage stamp.

P.P.S. I know I'm delinquent in choosing a giveaway winner, but I'll
try to get on it before Monday. Pinkie swear.