"Mama, can you lay with me?"
Cade, my 6 yr. old, asks me this question almost nightly. He likes for me to lie down next to him and scratch his back or snuggle up for a few minutes before he drifts off to sleep.
It sounds precious, but most days I have a hard time adopting that positive perspective.
Bedtime in our household is not sweet, peaceful, treasured, and snuggly.
3 1/2 hours of homework, dinner, chores, bathtime, playtime, grumpiness, and whining leaves me completely spent.
The day's events combine to wear my body out and my patience thin.
So when the lights go out at 8:00, to say I'm not always in the best mood may or may not be a huge understatement.
Then there's one more demand. At least it can feel that way.
"Mama, will you lay with me?"
Sigh.
Sometimes it's yes. but more often...
No.
The sink is overflowing with dirty dishes.
The laundry fairy isn't coming to fold Mt. Washmore.
The dog tracked in mud, so the floors are disgusting.
Don't get me started on the bathrooms.
I need to get myself to bed at a reasonable hour if there's any way I'm going to function tomorrow.
Endless.
But those chores will always be there. I know his request won't be, but instead of agreeing I tell myself this in justification:
He'll ask again tomorrow night, so I'm going to say no tonight.
Just one more night.
Simply, there are too many things I need to get done. I need "me" time. Peace. Quiet.
Until last night.
"Mama, can you lay with me?"
Panic.
How many nights has it been since he the last time he asked? Too many to remember. Was it the weekend? Was it sometime last week? Two weeks ago?
I don't know because I was too busy to remember.
Did he stop asking because I always say no? Or because he's growing up?
So I said yes.
Treasured.
One night, he'll make this request for the last time.
And I won't even know it.
I hope I don't say no.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Okay the beginning of your post I was all like--"oh me too, me too.." and then I got to the end and my mommy guilt punched me right in the gut! You are SOOOO right!
ReplyDeleteGotta love being a mom :)
ReplyDeleteStopping by from SITS to say hello.
Have a great day!
Harriet
Mommy guilt. Gotta love it. I love reading your blog. Got out the old high school year book the other day. Man, I feel old.
ReplyDeleteHeather (Phillips) Thompson
So true and very convicting. Thanks for the reminder~
ReplyDeleteAmanda, this is quite possibly my favorite entry. Every Mommy can relate to this, no matter the age of her children. It's hard to remember when you're exhausted, have other things to do, need a break, etc, etc, etc, that other crap keeps, but our babies do not. Here's hoping we don't miss out on the "lasts."
ReplyDeleteYou're making me cry!!
ReplyDeleteSay YES!!
Now I'm all teary eyed! My oldest is 5 and rarely asks to be held for "snuggles" anymore and yet I still say no. Makes me want to go wake her up right now and give snuggles, except that it's 4:30 in the morning! I'm officially making today Snuggles Day!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy it. Oh enjoy it because, yes, it goes far too fast.
ReplyDeleteLast night after we had already put the kids to bed and read stories and I finished watching American Idol I stole into my Baby Girl's room and had her scoot over and I crawled in with her. She's never asleep that quickly so I laid with her and we talked about her day. She had a really good day yesterday, but when she got hom my Mom was there and we were eating dinner and then it was bath time and I had not had a chance to talk to her about it. I wanted her to know how proud I was of her and I how much I love her so I just laid with her and we talked for about 15 minutes. About everything and nothing and it was the perfect end to the day.
ReplyDeleteI'll have you know-- I laid with him last night!!! felt good!!
ReplyDeletemade me want to cry. and yes...i would love the hair bows.
ReplyDeleteWow. Good stuff. As always.
ReplyDeleteOK. I'm tearing up. I am saying yes to something today.
ReplyDelete