Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Daring to Dance in the Path of Greatness: My AI Recap- Top 7

I have a love/hate relationship with my DVR right now. Last week, it was not smart enough to know that AI was running over and cut off the supposed Best Performance of the Season. But that's what YouTube is for, right? So I can't really stay mad. Especially when last night the DVR mercifully cut off before Lil was finished mouthing back to Simon. Which is never a good thing for a contestant to do. And may mean her demise tonight. But I'm getting ahead of myself...So anyway, on with my (sporadic) recap!

This week Quentin Tarantino was the guest judge.

Which has what to do with music exactly?

At first I thought it was going to be the music of his films, which was going to be pretty interesting to hear the contestants throw down some Isaac Hayes or Nancy Sinatra. Or the more obscure's. But instead it was just music of (generic) films.

Allison: I thought the beginning of the song's arrangement was too bluesy. And the shortened vesion of the words was really awkward. Neither of which has anything to do with Allison's singing.

I hate to sound too much like Randy, but I thought her performance was pitchy and I wasn't feelin' it. I did like how she coordinated with her hair with her outfit again, though. Simon surprised me by disagreeing with me and liking it. For 16 she's good, but I don't think she's Kelly Clarkson good.

Shot of the audience- was that Katie Couric? Hi Katie! Or Hi Katie-Look-Alike! And who was the strangely dressed male they keep cutting to? Jason thought it was Gene Simmons, but I wouldn't recognize Gene unless he was dressed in black with white face paint. Or someone introduced him to me and said, "This is Gene Simmons."

And was Stalker Shannon from the Bachelor there too? I would recognize that unnaturally white overbite anywhere.

It must have been crazy celebrity night at AI (with the exception of Katie. I love you Katie! Or maybe she is crazy for having left the Today Show. Man, that show went downhill, didn't it? Matt should jump ship while he still can be considered a respectable journalist. Or is it already too late for him? Thoughts that keep me awake at night...).

Back to AI.

Anoop: I totally needed to vote for him. But I have yet to fix my finger to dial and vote for anyone. I'm not sure that I really care that much this season. Besides, would my 10-15 votes really keep him in the running, anyway? I don't think my dialing power has a snowball's chance against a 13 yr. old's text votes. Anyway, I liked his performance. He looked to be in a bit of pain at the end, and I didn't like him shaking his finger at me (I do it FOR YOU!) It felt too reprimanding. But it was good overall.

Ryan then informs us that the judges are working in teams so that the show doesn't run over. My question is why can't the producers just tell them to SHUT IT? Is no one in charge over there?

Raise your hand if you saw this problem coming with now having 4 people talking after each song. {My own hand waving wildly}

And there's no way, with 2 women competing for "Longest AI Soliloquy" that either of them is going to edit their comments for brevity. But I really only want to hear Simon. Why can't everyone else just STOP TALKING ALREADY?

Adam: I've tried to like Adam. I've wanted to like Adam, guy-liner, nail polish, foundation, and all. And I really think Adam can sing. But I've finally decided I do not care for his voice in this arena. I would totally buy tickets to see him in a broadway show. But I don't think I could stand to listen to the tone of his voice repeatedly on a CD. Unless I lost a bet and that was to be my punishment. So I think he sang fine, but I'm jumping ship from the Adam-boat this evening.

When Adam finished gyrating, Paula began quoting The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People or The Secret or maybe just her fortune cookie from her dinner last night because she said that Adam (and I QUOTE!) "Dares to dance in the path of greatness," AND "Fortune rewards the brave." Maybe her dress's choker collar was a tad too tight and kept cutting off the oxygen to her brain. Whatev, Paula.

Simon says it's EXACTLY like watching the Rocky Horror Picture Show. And it was EXACTLY like that. To be positive, it was better than the Ring of Fire debacle which may go down as Worst American Idol Performance Of All Time. And that's sayin' somethin'.

Matt: OK, he was totally Jason Mraz'ing with the hat. But I love Matt. And I wished that the audience would quit clapping at an annoyingly slow rhythm to a song that doesn't lend itself naturally to clapping.

As strange as it seemed to have Quentin Tarantino as the guest, he seemed to be giving them good performance advice. At least it was better than "That was real nice." or "Are you wearing nail polish, boy?" (which isn't advice at all, actually).

And SHUT. UP. KARA. She's totally the reason my DVR cut off last week and I'll forever blame her. Why does AI even need 4 judges? If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Except for Paula, who is broke, but won't be entertaining if she gets fixed.

Danny: I do like his voice, but the Singing That Regularly Escalates to Belting is a little tired. Overall, though, he did a good job.

Kris: You know what I really got out of his performance last night? That I had completely forgotten about that song and how good it is. And how I want to see the movie Once, which I heard was really good, but I'd also forgotten about.

That said, I do think Kris is complete sleeper contestant. He's the one that no one could remember at first, but is totally sneaking up on everyone else and is going to cream them all. He's definitely one of my picks for Top 3. He's a solid singer/performer. But still he's somehow under the radar. Not outlandish enough to be the one everyone is talking about, but not bad enough to get kicked off either. And he doesn't have a story that makes people want to cry. Which you really need on AI.

Lil: The song kind of makes me want to gag. And that's all I have to say about that. Except for this next part where I say Lil is just not living up to the hype surrounding her. She is not a powerhouse like Jennifer Hudson or Mandisa or Melinda Doolittle. This is hopefully the end of the road for her.

After her song, Paula paraphrased the lyrics into something that had nothing to do with Lil. Simon was the voice of sanity. Lil's not that good. And that was when my DVR made up for its sins of last week and cut Lil off mid-backtalk.

So there you have it. My picks for bottom 3? Anoop (again. Poor Anoop), Lil, and probably someone that everyone loves like Danny or Matt. My fortune cookie tells me this is the week Fox decides to shake up the ratings and puts a favorite in the Bottom Three so the judges can use their Dramatic Save.

Not that I have any strong feelings about anyone at this point, but I'm sucked in this far, I might as well see this deal through to the end.

And I'll leave you with this little gem: A Guide to the AI Judges' Comments. It's spot on.


  1. I totally think Paula's dog collar was on too tight. She made less sense than she usually does!

  2. I don't watch this show but your playback was very entertaining.

    I am ascared of Shannon from the bachelor. I have nighmares about her and her teeth!

  3. I agree. I think Anoop is in the botom three and probably one of the faves so that we can have some judge drama. This was a great recap! Loved it :)

  4. I love Simon. I can't stand Adam. I think we are two of very few people in America that haven't joined the Adam lovefest. I want to gouge my ears with forks when he sings/screams.

  5. Fortunately, I don't have a love-hate relationship with our DVR. I'll watch anything as long as I have junk food to eat.

    Unfortunately, my 3-year old knows about it. "Daddy," he says. "Don't watch too much TV. You'll get fat."

    http://somethingaboutparenting.typepad.comTwitter: AboutParenting

  6. This is an awesome post! I agree with most all of it - Shut up Kara! And the dancing in the path of greatness comment by Paula - what the heck?

    I do love me some Adam though. You just can't compete with his vocal chops. Flipping AMAZING - the control he has over his voice (I am a voice teacher, thus the excitement.)

    I love Matt G. too! Wish he would make choices that were a bit better for him!

    Lil is BOR-RING. Bah.

    I'll be back!

  7. I didn't really get the whole Quentin Terantino (sp? I'm too lazy to check) thing.

    He kinda bugs me.

    I haven't followed AI as closely as past seasons, but NCIS was a I watched!

    Remember me? No DVR


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