I need a life

After reading this post of Boomama's yesterday, I had such enormously high expectations of scoring a $2 dress that I did the unthinkable. I went to the store-that-must-not-be-named ALONE and AFTER DARK. I NEVER go ALONE and AFTER DARK. It's a self-preservation technique. But desperation makes one throw caution to the wind.

I did legitimately needed a few items that couldn't wait. Namely, Smucker's Uncrustables PB&J sandwiches. Because we ran out. And the ham-and-cheese I packed in Micah's lunch went completely untouched (I suspect he never even removed it from its baggie home). And because I'm too lazy busy in the mornings to take the time to spread the sandwich makings on the bread.

Be that as it may, the possibility of the CHEAP DRESS was too irresistible to keep me away. I may have found myself breathing an urgent prayer that I might find THE DRESS on the clearance rack. I think that indicates that my prayer life needs a bit of work. Please pray for me.

I landed a shopping cart and set off to locate the clearance racks. I felt my spirit fall a notch when I noticed that the cheapest signage I saw was $3. My dress was supposed to be $2, but I was determined to not lose all hope.

I circled each rack carefully, like a vulture circling its prey. Or like those bored polar bears in zoos that just swim around and around. I've heard it's because they need more enrichment. It's quite possible my life needs deeper enrichment. Unless you count risking life and limb by shopping at the-store-who-must-not-be-named after 8:00 PM? Don't answer that.

I circled and I circled, inspecting each cheaply made garment for any sign of a sleeveless spectacle. And there were some very cheap spectacles, namely a substantial amount of clothing with large gold adornments or patches of material missing where one should ALWAYS have fabric. And lots of elastic waistbands. I'm definitely NOT ready to embrace the elastic. Not just yet.

After going around and around so many times that I got a little dizzy, my suspicions were confirmed and I admitted defeat. There were no cheap summer dresses being clearanced at my store. To add insult to injury, some sandals I had been eyeing, but put off purchasing because they were marked too high (according to my arbitrary scale of pricing goods at the-store-that-must-not-be-named), had all disappeared. They must have hit clearance when I wasn't looking. Which means that it was sometime between March 22nd and March 24th. Dang.

Clearly Boomama has a better prayer life than I. But I'll be keeping an eye out for some more serious markdowns. Because my life is full of enrichment.