Saturday, October 4, 2008

Owner of a Lonely Heart

On Friday night, Micah's school hosted a school-wide picnic and bake sale at a local park. It was one of those awkward times where we (and by "we" I mean "I") felt like we should go to show support for the school and because the kids would have a great time, but we don't really know any of the other parents at all. If there was a level system for how well parents of children who go to the same school know one another, I think Level 1 would be "Identify the Parent as "Child's Name + Familial Gender" such as "Suzy's Dad" or "Joe's Mom." We're at Level 1 with approximately 3 parents. Out of many. We were entering an atmosphere of awkward. But we sucked it up for the sake of the kids.

While there, we met the parents of Micah's friend K. K is a little girl in the neighboring kindergarten class. And Micah has a way with the ladies, let me tell you. Apparently, K goes home most days with tales of her favorite playmate, Micah. We've heard a little about K, but K's parents have heard a TON about Micah. When we told them our child was Micah, K's mom squealed with delight "Oh, you're Micah's parents!" That pretty much sums it up. It seems as though Micah and K have already had coversations about marriage. K, being the progressive lady she is, asked Micah to marry her. Micah, however, is a bit more old-fashioned and informed K that the boy is supposed to ask the girl. When pressed with the question from K "Are you going to ask me?" Micah decided to play hard-to-get with the (typical male) response, "I might." Ahhh, kindergarten relationships can be soooo complicated.

Jason and I asked Micah about K. Being the pillars of parenting we are, we asked him if he thought he would want to marry K. You know, because it's so healthy to push your 6 yr. old child into marriage. Unfortunately, Micah has some hang-ups about marrying K. And by hang-ups, I mean his little "friend who is a girl" E. from our old town. Micah and E. have been friends since they were just over a year old. They were betrothed to one another, once upon a time, until a series of bad choices tore her family apart and in turn forced distance into all of our friendships. I couldn't say the last time we saw E. nor do I have any clue if we will ever see her again since she spends the majority of time with her mom with whom we no longer associate.

So Jason and I felt it our parently duty to help Micah move on. When he told us his future plans included a marriage to E., I panicked a bit inside. Because 6 yr. olds never change their minds, right? I mean, when I was 6, I wanted to be a lifeguard. I was nothing if not ambitious. But as a mother who wants to not only protect her son but also help him lay the foundation for healthy relationships in the future, I blurted out, "E. found someone else." And let me say I have never felt lower in my life than in that instant. Micah's adorable face crumpled like a wadded up piece of newspaper. With tears in his eyes, the only intelligible words he could muster were, "Who is it?" Since I had just made "him" up on the spot, I answered as truthfully as I could. "I don't know." I am nothing if not creative in my own tangled web of lies.

Oh, was he upset! He simply couldn't comprehend the betrayal. Much to learn about women the young jedi has. To help his heart heal, Jason and I reminded him about sweet K. How wonderful and funny and smart she is. And she comes from a great family. When we finished our picnic dinner, Micah ran off to play, presumably with K. Back to business as usual. But I know these things take time. And when the topic of E. comes up again, you can bet I'll be prepared to remind him of all the lovely ladies in his life who aren't her. Seriously, though, it's terribly sad that his 1st and closest childhood friend is gone from his life. But I also hope to remind him he has lots more life to live before he has to make any adult decisions. In the meantime, K's mom and I will be secretly working on engraving some invitations.


  1. Take heart! When Hannah was Micah's age, she had "C" in her life. He was a great kid, but came from Disfunction Junction. They were best friends all through preschool. However, 10 years and numerous parenting differences later, she and "C" are no longer friends. And her heart is no worse for the wear. :)

  2. Girl! I love reading your blog! It makes my day. Poor, poor Micah. He IS a handsome little dude! K better watch out! Some other girl might move in...

  3. gah, we miss you guys.
    and micah will learn to move on with time ;)
    claire's been calling tobias "her boy" whenever he comes over. hmmph.


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