Who is Murphy and why is he bugging us?

Shortly before I found out I was pregnant with Micah, which, coincidentally enough, was shortly after we got married, Jason and I decided we needed a new car. I was driving a sporty red 2-door that was considerably unfriendly to Jason's head. He would hit his head on the side of the car every time he got in. It was a long way down to the seat and he was never able to judge that distance appropriately. Maybe from all the hitting.

But the sporty 2-door was also decidedly NOT family oriented. Who wants to wrestle a 50 lb. infant carrier seat complete with child into the back seat of a sports car? I didn't think so.

So we went off in search of a new car. A 4-door. Because we thoought, in our complete lack of experience, that a 4-door, by it's very nature, would be more conducive to family-hauling. How young and foolish we were! I could write a book about all the things we thought we knew in the pre-kid era. But I digress...

We found ourselves at a Ford dealership getting what we thought was a good deal on a 2002 Ford Focus. Green! With leather interior! And a sun roof! Or is it moon roof? Whichever one opens and closes. Low interest! Woo-hoo!! Our car problems were solved.

We should have known the car was cursed when, on the drive home FROM the car dealership, I hit a dog. The first and only animal I have ever hit with my vehicle. And I still get teary thinking about it. Maybe the dog owner cursed it. I have no idea.

I just know that we stopped calling it a FO-cus a long time ago, and instead refer to it as a name to foul for print (on my blog, anyway). But let's say that it rhymes with DUCK-us. That car has been a complete piece of crap.

First of all, it has been plagued with instances where it simply won't start. Just won't start, but for no reason. We take it to the mechanic, and there's no explanation. Usually the mechanic can't even replicate the problem.

The 2 back windows came off the track a couple of years ago and won't stay up. After a lengthy and unsuccessful relationship with duct tape, we finally had a friend rig them so that they no longer fall down, but they aren't on track either.

The radio had to be replaced because the volume knob, no matter which way you turned it, might turn the radio up or down. Or it might just go back and forth- up, down, up, down. Whatever the heck it pleased.

We learned recently that the fuel pumps on Ford Focuses are notorious for going out. We also found out, the HARD way, I might add, that the ignition switch breaking is a common problem. A few weeks ago, I couldn't get my key to turn in the ignition. The mechanic at the Ford dealership told me to "hit it a little" so then every time I tried to start the car, I had to jam the palm of my hand against the key before turning the dadgum thing.

In the meantime, we've decided to try and sell this car. Yes, we have lots of complaints about it, but we're not being dishonest AND we have it listed at a VERY fair price. AND it WILL get someone from point A to point B. At least 70% of the time.

Well, finally, last Friday afternoon, no amount of jamming, banging, or hitting would cause the key to turn in the ignition. I had to call J. and we had to have a guy tow the Duck-us to the dealership (not for the first time).

We are quickly becoming great friends with Tow Truck Guy, as we have free towing on our insurance and apparently he contracts with them. At this rate, he'll probably be invited for Christmas dinner. And Tow Truck Guy said that EVERY.SINGLE.ONE of this type of car that he's towed has had THIS.EXACT.PROBLEM. Ford is SO getting a letter from me.

Long story even longer, J. goes to drive it away from the dealership service area yesterday, ignition "fixed," and it DIES before he can even get down the street 100 feet! Possibly a fuel pump problem. Possibly a phantom problem with no explanation. Possibly God laughing at us. "Not so fast, Sturgfam!" he's saying. Maybe that dang Murphy and his law. But Murph needs to walk on. Nothing to see here, Murphy. Take your bidness elsewhere.

All we want to do is get rid of that stinkin' hunk of junk and buy a newerish truck for J. We have some savings, we have some tax money, and once we sell the car, we'll be able to get something pretty decent. But until then, we're a 1-vehicle family and that makes for some interesting schedule gymnastics as we try to get everyone where they need to be a pick everyone up at the right time.

We actually have a guy who exports cars to Mexico and wants to buy it as soon as we get it back. Another one of God's funny little jokes. We get to purchase a used vehicle. And my good-for-nothing car gets an all-expenses paid vacay to Mexico.